apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
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Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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