this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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