can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
