You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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