i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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