and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
