She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
