Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
