also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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