When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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