i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize