just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I touched a dick in church today
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Just puked most of my soul out..
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
