Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
