I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize