You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
