I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
