Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
