PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
