Whod you bang
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
