I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
