I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Randomize
