i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
