dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize
