It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
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I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
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When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro