First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i dont even know how to be here
19 Movie Extras Reveal What It’s Like To Work With Celebrities
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
you had me at cake vodka
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up