he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
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But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
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I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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