So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
