38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Randomize
