I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
