that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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