Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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