Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
