xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
She tied me up with her honor cords...
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Randomize
