Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i dont even know how to be here
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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