Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
