you guys were way drunker than both of me
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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