if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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