Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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