i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
