Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
