so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
