i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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