i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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