You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
