Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
