she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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