Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
