You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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