Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
