I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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