Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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