I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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