I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
You work out of a Hotel?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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