Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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