Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
