i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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