Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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