ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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