Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize