Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
We have started to decorate penises.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
