Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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