We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
