Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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