Texts From Last Night

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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair

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  (610): I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair http://tfl.nu/hvec
  Replies (25) Good night (1304) Bad night (3630)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.

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  (206): Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story. http://tfl.nu/xxuj
  Replies (8) Good night (1211) Bad night (4818)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.

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  (407): We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl. http://tfl.nu/kow0
  Replies (20) Good night (1016) Bad night (6709)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...

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  (732): I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste... http://tfl.nu/n6mj
  Replies (12) Good night (3738) Bad night (739)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted

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  (860): I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted http://tfl.nu/x75x
  Replies (7) Good night (4279) Bad night (794)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.

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  (919): Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time. http://tfl.nu/r3pt
  Replies (9) Good night (5023) Bad night (1315)
• Favorite

  (863): View more from Florida

  We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.

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  (863): We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits. http://tfl.nu/7sfp
  Replies (25) Good night (1392) Bad night (4927)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there

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  (540): Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there http://tfl.nu/4j17
  Replies (7) Good night (3676) Bad night (1089)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.

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  (210): A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day. http://tfl.nu/06c7
  Replies (5) Good night (2856) Bad night (833)
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  (949): View more from California

  I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem

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  (949): I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem http://tfl.nu/xr6o
  Replies (4) Good night (1150) Bad night (713)
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  (61): View more from Australia

  When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"

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  (61): When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town" http://tfl.nu/opr7
  Replies (3) Good night (887) Bad night (397)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.

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  (757): I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am. http://tfl.nu/vke9
  Replies (0) Good night (530) Bad night (366)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?

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  (613): How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"? http://tfl.nu/g21k
  Replies (4) Good night (957) Bad night (381)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.

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  (518): Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom. http://tfl.nu/16ki
  Replies (1) Good night (297) Bad night (715)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?

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  (240): You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then? http://tfl.nu/4u7q
  Replies (5) Good night (366) Bad night (484)

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