Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.