Texts From Last Night

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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.

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  (612): from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/b39s
  Replies (27) Good night (843) Bad night (1492)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.

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  (405): Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything. http://tfl.nu/pmpx
  Replies (76) Good night (28059) Bad night (1901)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work

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  (757): i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work http://tfl.nu/0keb
  Replies (20) Good night (5180) Bad night (1257)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.

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  (734): You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom. http://tfl.nu/aenv
  Replies (34) Good night (3777) Bad night (1304)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.

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  (410): He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week. http://tfl.nu/7fuh
  Replies (62) Good night (7575) Bad night (1640)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head

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  (908): All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head http://tfl.nu/0vd0
  Replies (5) Good night (1937) Bad night (946)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.

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  (727): let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man. http://tfl.nu/iiq1
  Replies (5) Good night (1760) Bad night (643)
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  (716): View more from New York

  i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.

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  (716): i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man. http://tfl.nu/v8cz
  Replies (6) Good night (2129) Bad night (919)
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  (518): View more from New York

  we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well

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  (518): we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well http://tfl.nu/pd1v
  Replies (5) Good night (1403) Bad night (578)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.

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  (503): You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want. http://tfl.nu/gyya
  Replies (10) Good night (1985) Bad night (599)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.

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  (443): I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley. http://tfl.nu/k95g
  Replies (7) Good night (902) Bad night (641)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.

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  (414): I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work. http://tfl.nu/n3jo
  Replies (0) Good night (1244) Bad night (478)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends

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  (304): I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends http://tfl.nu/jtxo
  Replies (6) Good night (553) Bad night (823)
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  (323): View more from California

  He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic

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  (323): He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic http://tfl.nu/gf3l
  Replies (1) Good night (250) Bad night (513)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.

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  (417): You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc. http://tfl.nu/r22c
  Replies (1) Good night (524) Bad night (164)

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