Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
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