He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize