i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
